When is enough enough?

When do we know when enough is enough?

Enough

• money

• square feet

• food

• clothes

• trips taken

• days worked and time to retire

I overheard Jim Carrey, the Canadian actor, discuss retiring. He said, “you’re never going to hear anyone in Hollywood say this, but I have enough, I am enough.”

He now wants to focus on his painting and his spiritual path.

Wow, wow, wow!

I think we all love to watch others with a clear vision. It allows us to take stock and perhaps get our own clarity. I feel it helps me take stock and evaluate my own version of - do I have enough?

It’s the fork in the road, if we are lucky to get to.

Actually there are many forks in the road in life… When we are starting out, who do we want to become? Who do we want to spend our lives with? Where do we want to live? And when we reach the time to ask what is next, whether it’s at 35 or 65, we have to take our own inventory. Another way of looking at it is, “if not now, when?” The proverbial question that means there is no perfect time, just do it now. One never knows when the right time is.

I always look for a measurement or gauge. I always ask myself, “does it bring me joy?” or Rick asks it like, “does it bring me closer to my goal?” Sometimes we can’t answer the question if we have enough because every Instagram or Facebook post is showing us:

• how to be successful

• how to acquire more

• how we need more stuff

• work more hours, practice harder, never give up

A brilliant commercial for Expedia shows Ewan McGregor asking us, “are we really going to regret not having more stuff?” Brilliant question! The camera then zooms to a beach, waves and sunshine and asks us, “or will we regret having more experiences?”

Makes us all stop and take a breath. Expedia’s way of asking the question:

When is enough enough?

I personally want more time with family and friends. That, I know I do not have enough of.

I came back from a recent trip to visit family in Florida. I had not seen my family in 3 years due to COVID. I came home with my heart full and a clear vision of what is most important.

The old saying, how do you want to be remembered or what will people say at your funeral?

You don’t want to hear how hard I worked or I wish I worked more overtime so I could have achieved more.

I think this expression has been around so long because it holds the truth. What matters is who we are. Remembering you are enough, despite all the other things…YOU are enough.

Identity Crisis

What we do is not who we are.

I was looking at Instagram recently and came across a post on Linda Evangelista. A popular super model from the 1990’s. She was and still is a beautiful, striking woman that drew attention to herself and the modelling industry because she was a different beauty, noted for her resemblance to Sophia Loren.

She was in an elite group of ‘super models' and was quoted for saying to Vogue, “we don’t wake up for anything less than $10,000 a day.”

Bold and strong. She was noticeable and memorable, with a long list of accomplishments in the fashion industry, making appearances in music videos, runway shows and voted one of the 'most beautiful' in the 90’s.

She virtually disappeared in 2010 and stopped working. She now reveals she has been disfigured by a cosmetic procedure.

I am not going to dispute how she feels or what has happened.

I searched for an image to see for myself how unrecognizable she was. After all, she is a woman younger than myself, 56, and how disfigured could she be?

What I saw of the images of Linda Evangelista now is a strikingly beautiful 56 year old woman. She still remains the envy of many people. Her story is that what she wanted in a cosmetic procedure created the opposite effect. However, by any other mortal standards, anyone with that face would be honoured to have her beauty. The tragedy is not the cosmetic procedure. The tragedy is she is known to look a certain way and SHE feels she is not the same person.

To me, she is.

This is what hit me most and why I wanted to talk about the 'identity crisis’ we all face.

It happens when we are known for something we do, not for who we are.

If you are only known for being beautiful, well, when that shifts - what happens to your self worth?

That's the bigger question.

Do we feel less than or perhaps shaken when the 'title' we are known for is removed and replaced?

That will happen when you put all your self worth in one thing.

We are so much more than:

• how we look

• what we do

• what we have done

When you are facing retirement and the job you have always done is not what you're going to be doing any longer is there not a feeling of loss? Do questions surface, what do I do and who am I?

It’s easier to describe functions of what you do…but the real gift is to give yourself permission to find out who you are.

I recently read that Jim Carrey, the Canadian actor, has decided to call it quits in acting. I think it’s brave and brilliant. He says he has decided he wants to focus on family and that he feels he has done what he came to do in his acting career.

My husband, Rick always says it's best to leave wanting more than to regret staying too long and being asked to leave. Interesting concept.

What I love most about opening ourselves up beyond the boundaries of ‘what we do’…is we get to try on another concept of ourselves, another outfit, another challenge.

We get to break the mold and change the landscape.

We really are NOT what we do.

It's just a piece of who we are.

This is the time to embrace and have courage to explore the new possibilities that come out of the change.

I believe in silver linings and that everything has a purpose.

Stay with me on this...if we don’t embrace change, we will stay as is.

That’s not what we are here for, we are here to move forward.

Then comes the question after who are you - what can I do next?

The secret sauce in all of this is how you react.

Get excited!

Jump in. All in.

Look for the endless possibilities of WHAT NEXT?

Ask yourself, what do I want?