I was recently sitting on the beach having light, airy conversation and was asked…

Why am I writing a blog?

Good question.

Not even sure I have the answer, but the question made me do some soul searching and for that I am grateful.

To be honest, I have thought of stopping… and then for whatever reason, I believe there is a purpose or I would not be sitting typing with my heart in my hand.

I started out on a quest to talk about the positive spin on living each year. It's not to focus on aging, but living, and to perhaps have some positive impact on the subject and shake up the conversation.

Just an honest look at the living process and something we all go through in some capacity or another in our lifetime.

When I started Beauty is Difference, just before COVID, there was very little chatter on the topic. That is why I was so passionate. Then COVID hit and we all stayed in and put our thoughts and feelings on Instagram and Facebook.

Everywhere I looked there was a new post encouraging those 40+ to grow out their hair, as grey is the new black.

So, I sat down recently and pondered…the topic of (aging) or as I like to call it, living - is saturated with positive, upbeat messages everywhere.

How exciting is this!!!

Then I thought…my work is done, no need for this girl's input, but then I realized something that I think everyone needs to ponder.

The world is a big, gorgeous piece of pie.

There is a slice for everyone.

Sometimes we watch a movie, read a book, hear a story or a song that is so powerful that it resonates with us. Sticks with us. Moves us. Changes us.

We see ourselves or our lives in the story or the song. That's the connection…but it's not every song on the radio, it’s a certain song or voice. It's a certain actor or person that brings the story to life for you.

We need different people to share these stories, to open up new conversations and add their perspective. Their voices matter, our voices matter.

That is what I realized…I am just a piece of the pie, the very big pie, that now has many advocates on the topic of how to live each year with grace.

How do we do this?

We do it together.

Everyone is going to bring their spin on it. That is the most glorious part of all of this. We each bring something to the table.

I have said in the past, in my early years there was just one cookie-cutter role model. If you didn't fit the version, you were on the outcast list.

Now I am happy to say, beauty is the difference, and everything and anything goes.

My personal cause of embracing each year and not being fearful of what is ahead is now a force that I am so honoured to take part in.

So to answer the question, why do I write the blog?

Because I am a piece of the pie. Because it’s about sharing our journey, connecting with each other, finding our voice and using it.


Our most meaningful relationships are also our most complex.

I think we are most vulnerable and tender because we are attached to the outcome and that outcome is we all have the need to be loved.

That is the universal common thread in all of us.

It starts with our first love, which is our parents.

Our mother and father.

These are the first beings we meet in the world and they set the foundation for our experience of love. Not everyone’s experience is universal and the role of a ‘mother’ and ‘father’ can take on many different shapes and forms.

Every year as Mother’s and Father’s Day rolls around I have a quiet reflection. As both of my parents have passed I take the day to reflect on them and my relationship - past and present.

This past Father’s Day… was a little different and I will share why.

I was excited to see that my new favourite show, My Next Guest with David Letterman on Netflix had a new season starting.

He was speaking with Ryan Reynolds and the discussion of fathers came up. I always believed what you're looking for is looking for you.

This topic was what I have been looking for, for a very long time.

The question to Ryan, “do we ever really know our fathers?”

Was he really who I thought he was?

There is a shroud of mystery behind the man.

Something inaccessible about the father figure.

Something we crave, want to obtain and never quite reach.

Do we really know someone or is it what we imagined?

Do we ever get the really deep conversation of:

How are you, REALLY?

How do you FEEL?

Like a sense of never really knowing this person that has incredible power, as well flaws, that we never can discuss fully.

The moment changes when we lose them.

Perhaps when we are the age they pass or the age they have us.

We start to relate to them as human beings.

It is then we can start to understand and relate?

We perhaps begin comparing ourselves and how we are more the same than different.

We either try to be like them or decide early on to be completely different and to never walk the same path.

Do we somehow feel mad that they die and that some things are really never said?

That was a punch in the stomach…I never realized that the emotion was, yes, mad that they died. That's it…no going back and now trying to put the pieces together without all the clarity I need to get the full picture.

Ta Dah...a lightbulb moment.

The good news is, there really is no clear answer who my father is or was. It is how I feel about it now that matters and to find peace and acceptance is the only way. I know my father would want that for me.

What I found to be so fascinating and truly comforting is that it’s not just me feeling this way with so many questions about my father.

Is it a coincidence that Ryan Reynolds was speaking about his relationship with his father…or just this Saturday, I was listening to an interview with Jane Fonda, who is now in her 80’s, who has made peace with her fractured relationship with her late father, Henry Fonda.

Jane spoke that when she did the movie with her famous dad, On Golden Pond, life mirrored art. Her dad was dying in real life and they, to that point, never talked about how she felt like she was never good enough for her dad. All she wanted was to hear he loved her.

Jane explained that it was at that time she learned he would never change, and that we really never do. Her father was never going to give her what she needed, so she gave it to herself.

Jane told her father what she needed and accepted he was not able or would ever be able to give it to her.

The world works in mysterious ways…another coincidence that this interview was playing to me at that moment. I like to think of it as another message being sent to all of us. If you can not get what you need from others, give it to yourself. That compassion and understanding is something that comes with time.

Do we ever really know our loved ones?

It's never too late to try to find out.