Why do we give our power to others?



“This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.” ― Susan Polis Schutz

I’m really curious about why we decide to take one path rather than another.

And I’m especially curious about why we allow others to influence how we look and feel.


This is something I’ve reflected on for years. I spent most of my early childhood trying to conform to what others told me to be.

This has sparked a deep question in me.


Why do we give our power to others?


Especially the power to choose how we show up in our lives and why we feel we need to conform to someone else’s idea of beauty.


“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” ― Amy Bloom

While reflecting on the topic, I recently bumped into a podcast by Amy Porterfield.

She mentioned a survey that revealed the vast majority of women thought Kim Kardashian represented the ideal form.

She shared Kim’s love of Spanx, industrial tape and layers of contouring makeup to make herself look like, well, herself.


I found myself asking why?


“LIFE IS A CHOICE. All day, every day. Who we talk to, where we sit, what we say, how we say it. And our lives become defined by our choices. It’s as simple and complex as that. And as powerful." - Louise Penny


Why do we align so readily with others?


I am coming to understand that where I once thought I had to look good to feel good, now I want to feel better to look like me, regardless of whether or not I am on trend.


In my cosmetics business, we’re advised to join one of many global trend forecasting companies. It is here we’re advised of the new ‘it’ colours for cosmetics, clothing, housewares, cars and all kinds of items.


I have always thought of it like the Wizard of Oz. Oh, Mighty Oz! Decide what the world needs to buy next, the colour, texture and pattern.


The reality is, it’s just a person behind a big curtain and we accept this person’s or company’s ideas over our own personal taste. Whether we like it or not.

Case in point…the must shade for spring 2021 is bubblegum pink.


Well, I don’t like pink. Not any pink and certainly not loud shockingly bright bubblegum pink.


It’s just not my colour, however, to belong and show that we know the current trends, we are compelled to do a campaign to show bubblegum pink.



Why?


Because sometimes it’s easier to try to fit in than not?

Because we care more about what others think than what we think?

Because we will wear, buy and consume products against our better judgement just to fit in?

Because you get used to listening to someone else’s opinion and start to devalue your own.


As I finish writing this, I have just convinced myself to perhaps do our spring/summer campaign with a shade of pink…but also a red, a violet and an orange!

Just because I can.♥️

And, from now on I am going to consciously try to not give my power to others and listen to myself first. What would our world look like if we didn’t judge each other based on appearance?


What would we be able to contribute if we redirected the effort and money we put into appearance to doing good?


I don’t have all the answers.

But I do know the most important first step in reclaiming our power is finding our voice.


You can grab my free guide on finding your voice and tap into the confidence to stand out in your personal and professional life here.

Love and gratitude

Xo

Vita


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