Why there is no timeline on beauty

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” - Coco Chanel

There is no clock ticking, no race to win, no finish line to cross.

We can all take a deep breath, a collective sigh.

There is no timeline on beauty.

How light would it feel, and how much more space in one's mind if we all came to the conclusion that there is no envelope of time when we are beautiful? There is no expiry date.

We are beautiful at every age, every stage. It's just all variations of beauty,

Not just one cookie cutter version.

What a relief to finally believe in your core, that in 5 years you will be beautiful, and in 10 and in 15.

It doesn't stop, but it certainly changes. The trick is to change our perspective of what is beauty.

No small feat, but I am up for the challenge.

If we were to widen the scope and be more inclusive, that would be a start.

And this is the change that is starting to happen, however, it's only effective if it is repeated and repeated until it is natural to look at one’s image without judgement of what we currently call a flaw.

“You define beauty for yourself, society doesn’t define your beauty." - Lady Gaga

It just takes a moment.

It can all change in an instant.

But you have to be present in that moment.

For me it started 15 years ago.

Jamie Lee Curtis posted a picture of her 47 year-old self.

She had no makeup, wore a pair of shorts and the caption was:

'This is what 47 looks like'

She showed what a REAL 47 looks like - softness and imperfection that I could finally exhale and feel a deep connection to.

It was not photoshopped and it was a game changer.

She was considered brave,

But it was really just being honest.

“The chain starts with one link.”

I like to think of it as reinventing yourself. What an opportunity!

With every day, month and year we move forward and accumulate knowledge, love, strength and hopefully clarity.

It shows up on our physical side like we get a chance to press the reset button.

You can not possibly expect to see your 20 year-old self in the mirror, nor would you want to.

When I started this journey,

I wanted to tell women in their 30s and 40s to not fear time.

The best is ahead.

It does get better with each day and year.

We need to focus on what you gain,

Clarity, strength, your voice, love of self.

You continue to gain with each day.

There is more to the story.

You don’t lose anything.

You don't lose your beauty.

It's just perception.

So clearly we have to change the perception of beauty. What if the grey hair, soft line and body changes became beautiful and it was a gift?

Then it’s a win win, and it really just gets better with everyday forward.

Nothing to fear.

Everything to gain.

Moving forward that is how I plan to imagine my life.

If we make little adjustments in our perception, it can take us to a new level of thinking.

There is no timeline on beauty.

Love and gratitude

Xo

Vita

How to rewrite your script

I have been chatting with a friend undergoing some personal challenges and perhaps facing an alternative path in life.

The question came to me, why are we hesitant to change our life’s plan?

Our circumstances change, why shouldn’t our script?

Let your life speak

In my early years I spent time telling life what I wanted.

Now, I listen to what my life wants me to do with me.

I have a different perspective now on things.

In my early years , I had a clear outlook on what I thought was important:

- rent an apartment

- buy a used car

- get a job

- buy clothes

After I was married the list started to change:

- save for a house

- climb the business ladder

- take vacations away

- buy a new car

- still buy clothes, but with matching shoes!

In my 40s a shift started.

The closet is getting full of clothes.

Our house is decorated.

My parents health is starting to decline and there is a huge priority shift.

Things don’t have the same sparkle.

Time is the golden nugget.

The prize.

Time with the family, time with loved ones, time with friends.

But there is no time available, because I am too busy trying to maintain the things.

The lightbulb moment arrives:

What if I re-wrote my script or the list I had created?

Life is now whispering to me a deeper meaning.

A purpose.

The voice is coming from inside me.

That’s the clarity that comes with time.

Self and service.

The place where your joy and need meet.

You know in your soul when you’re in the right place.

When you connect with this feeling, the magic begins.

It’s effortless.

It feels right, there’s no pain, it expands.

When you’re on the wrong track or in the wrong place your soul reacts.

If you listen, it’s agitated, and if you’re still, you hear it and feel it.

“Be daring be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imagination vision against play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.” - Cecil Beaton

I’m here to tell you, you can, at any time, rewrite your script.

Here are a few of the items on my list:

1. Be still and really listen. Your gut and voice already know.

2. Be aware of discomfort. When things are right they are effortless.

3. Time is the one thing you can not buy.

4. It’s never too late and it’s never too early.

If you're interested in the full list, watch out for 50 Ways To Rewrite Your Script coming in February.

Love and gratitude

Xo

Vita