Can we create a new definition of real beauty?

Welcome to December! A glorious month of celebrations to witness the beauty of our changing seasons. This holiday season may not be the same normal, although it may promise a new normal. If we are open we can and should embrace it for being different.

This leads me to the discovering beauty in being different.

Don't impress others with what you have. Impress them with who you are. - Robert Tew

We call people who are different outliers.

Are we not all different? And if we are not we should strive to be.

"Dare to be different” is a favourite expression of mine.

I have always considered being different or an outlier a compliment.

What if we approached our lives as if there was no standard of beauty? What if we could redefine our image of beauty? We have examples all around us, if we just open our minds and eyes.

As a young girl of 10 when I was admittedly a bit on the chubby side, my early observations

delivered a very narrow vision of what was beauty. The only teen magazines available showed girls who were tall and thin with straight blond hair and blue eyes.

It shouted out loud that if you were not that, something was wrong and you just didn't add up. The images were everywhere and I didn't fit in. And then I began to see alternatives.

I now realize what a gift it was to have my childhood girlfriend, Joycelyn.

As children together we never saw colour between us. In grade three, Jocelyn gave me unconditional love and friendship. I was blessed to be exposed to her family and Indian culture. I was introduced to a culture of spice, colour and celebration. I witnessed the ceremony of dressing in a silk Sari and the meticulous application of henna as they adorned themselves for a wedding. I was exposed to music I had never heard and tried foods that would never have crossed my palate. Jocelyn showed me how to celebrate life and see beauty in a very different backdrop than mine.

I feel a quiet storm brewing. I can hear a movement whispering in my ear that change is on its way and its BIG. - Vita

Later in life, I developed a friendship with Bunch who was a bald beautiful black woman. She introduced me to a culture that embraced curves - not skinny; eating spicy, - not plain; engaging in conversations that were loud and passionate - not quiet and polite. Everything other than boring. Bunch proved to me that it was a choice to pursue a life that was not dull. She was an extraordinary ordinary woman.

You are loved just for being who you are, just for existing. You don't have to do anything to earn it. – Ram Dass

Now, as I am maturing I continue my search for a broader vision of what is beautiful.

Can we redefine the cookie-cutter limiting view of what we are told is beauty?

We spend much of our life attempting to live up to these unrealistic expectations and I believe freeing ourselves from these is why I am doing this. To help redefine our vision of beauty. To widen the narrow lens through which we view life.

We do not have just a small envelope of time in which we are beautiful. We have our entire lives. Can we learn to accept that beauty comes in different stages and different ways? That is why it is so important to have an eclectic vision of beauty that exists outside of the mainstream.

Let us think outside the box or perhaps remove the box completely.

It starts with extraordinary ordinary people.

Love and gratitude

Xo

Vita

Life after 50: Living audaciously.

In my last blog I shared how life becomes richer through knowing in my heart that everybody is beautiful and it is our very differences that define our individual beauty - regardless of age.

I believe that around 50 is when you really begin to know yourself and it gets better, stronger and more clear with every year. I feel a quiet storm brewing,  I can hear  a movement whispering in my ear “change is on its way and it’s BIG.” And it’s not just me. I see it all around, slowly and surely, a shift in how we are all thinking and embracing life after 50.

The freedom shift and excited anticipation of what lies ahead.

As children we are in such a hurry to grow up.

As children we are in such a hurry to grow up. As little girls we try to fit in our mother’s shoes playing dress up and we can’t wait to wear makeup. The photo above is one of me wearing my very first pair of high heels at age 5! Then the next thing we know, we’re being treated to a 30th birthday party and all we really wish for when blowing out the candles is that time would come to a screeching halt.

Let’s freeze the progression of time from here out and prevent any chance of growing older. We begin the process of transformation - botoxing the lines on our forehead (I am guilty of this), plumping up what should probably just be left ‘unplumped’, and getting various lifts and tucks; because we think that after 30 we grow visibly and unattractively old. In reality, the party is just getting started.

The party is just getting started.

The movement I want to inspire is one that promotes the reality that our worth grows with each passing year, we become more powerful with a clearer vision of who we are and what we are meant to do. We must give ourselves permission to be our glorious selves. Every day I see people over 50 recording and posting their outrageous beauty. We need to uplift each other, embrace and encourage one another and that’s why I’m writing this blog.

I want to send a message to younger generations enabling them to see how amazing it is to live life fully and completely. Do not fear the passing years as life becomes more rich.

There are so many examples of people who made and continue to make enormous contributions to society well up into their final years.

Did you know?

Maye Musk turned 59 and stopped colouring her hair and she says, letting her hair go grey was the secret to her becoming a supermodel. At 67 she walked her first runway show at NY fashion week. At 69 she became a cover girl. At 72 she is a role model, public speaker and author. Not bad!

Vera Wang didn’t design her first dress until she was 40.

Laura Ingalls Wilder didn’t begin writing the classic Little House on the Prairie series until she was 64.

Are you prepared to be audacious?

I also love Glenda Jackson’s story. This amazing woman returned to acting after spending two decades as a member of the British Parliament. After winning the Tony Award for Three Tall Women in 2018, she returned to Broadway in 2019 performing the role of King Lear.

“I look forward to growing old and wise and audacious.” Glenda Jackson.

Now, you might ask, “But I’m not a privileged person, nor famous, nor wealthy and I wonder how this applies to my life?”

The answer is this - believe in your self and advocate for yourself. Here are three little tips that help me be mindful of how to move forward every day and make ‘me’ a priority.

1. Embrace your inner child.

Play, laugh and smile. It’s too easy to become overwhelmed in today’s world but sometimes I just renew my joy by going for a walk and witnessing the beauty that surrounds me. I feel most alive when I go for a walk even in the extremes of weather. During a snowfall I wear my snow pants, hat and gloves. When it’s raining I simply pop up my hood. Neither the heat nor the wind nor the cold stop me because they are all marvellous gifts. There is no perfect time or weather. Don’t wait for it!

2. Be active and audacious.

Think about causes that are important to you and use your wisdom, ideas and experiences to influence positive change. You have a voice that is worth hearing. Stay engaged with the world and the people you care about. And DANCE! I just rekindled my love affair with dancing. When I hear a great song I stop to dance - anywhere, anytime - just because I can.

3. Don’t fight the aging process.

Don’t fight the aging process: Let go of your younger self and love your aging self. Treat yourself with kindness and respect and take care of you - body, mind and soul. For example, when I look at my legs I see that the skin is looser than it once was. I smile as I recall my mother pulling her skin tighter and remarking “This getting old is not for sissies.” I thought she was beautiful regardless of her aging skin. So now, I look at my mother’s legs on me. I am warmed by the connection I have with her. Don’t fight the aging process. Embrace it. It connects us all.

Love your aging self.

Thanks again for joining me here. I am so grateful for the interest that you’re showing and look forward to taking this journey with you.

Now, let’s go be audacious!

Love and gratitude

Xo

Vita